Chapter 21 Index

Advay stood tall and proud before his mirror. He had finally managed to get himself a tonne of dhoti trousers, ever since Chandini had found him dazzling in his pristine white dhoti. Today it was a white dhoti trouser, paired with a crisp white cotton shirt. He removed his linen waistcoat from its hanger. His wardrobe was a far cry from the one in England. Here linens and cottons lay strewn everywhere in his room. But he loved the smell of crisp cotton, it reminded him of his father, who had always donned a cotton dhoti, except on Pooja days when he wore silks. He sipped on the lemon juice and swallowed an aspirin, he had had one too many drinks the previous night. He had no memory of what he had said or done. The last he remembered was walking on the terrace to find Chandini gazing at his father’s easy chair. He had wanted to go to the smashan…but had instead hit the bar as there were no pyres burning at the ghats…it had been a terrible decision.

But he had wanted to come back to Chandini. Painful memories of his past had come back to haunt last night, along with the astrologers warning that she was in danger. He sighed. When he had boarded the plan to Allahabad, his plan had been clear…but ever since he had met Chandini, everything had changed. Now for the first time he wasn’t sure what he truly wanted. He just wanted to take her and run away from the madness of this world… just wanted to hold her in his arms and make love to her …forever… but he had a debt to repay…a debt that he owed to his parents….to his mother who had given him life. Her debt was the ultimate debt… he couldn’t put himself before his Maa. That would be the ultimate betrayal. He punched the wall next to the mirror.

“Chandini,’ He felt a whisper somewhere deep within the recesses of his soul. He finally crashed on the chair, pinching his brows… blood trickling from his knuckles. Memories flashed before his eyes, of their first kiss under their Banyan tree. He had kissed his Chandini. Tears welled his eyes, he had kissed the girl he loved…. on the eve of her birthday…at the stroke of midnight. It had been everything he had expected and more. She had been yielding under his fervent kisses. His life was perfect…only that it was a far cry from perfect.

He had had to summon every ounce of willpower to walk away from her as she had pleaded with him to make love to her. He let out a sigh, not knowing how much longer he would last if she continued gazing at him with desperate eyes.

“Dammit Chandini,’ He sighed, “Why dammit why…why the fuck did you have to ruin everything?’

They could have had the most perfect life. She would have been his wife, she would have been his to cherish…to treasure…forever. But she had ruined it all. He wiped the lone tear that escaped from the corner of his eyes. If only his parents were alive… if only she had belonged to him…

“She belongs to me…always has,’ He hissed to himself, “MINE DAMMIT MINE.’

“Bhaiyya, your coffee.’ Murli walked in, frowning at the mess Advay had made of the room. “Seriously Bhaiyya how many white shirts do you have to try on, before finally deciding upon a flipping white shirt.

“Don’t know Murli, it should smell right,’ Advay snorted, almost snapping back at him, “Cotton should smell like cotton, like my Baba. I try all the shirts and finally settle for the one that smells like him.’

Murli gazed at him with pity, memories of his own parents flashed before his eyes. But his brother’s loss had been worse.

“Kya hua Bhaiyya…you don’t sound good?’

“Murli?’

“Hmm.’

“Kal kya hua… did I lose control with Chandini?’ Advay frowned, “Trust me, I can’t remember anything, which is rare. I have never drunk this much in my life I think.’ Advay shook his head, “Pata nahi Murli, that astrologer brought back a lot of pain to the surface.’

“It’s okay Bhaiyya…I am sure Bhabhi will understand.’

“What happened last night?’

“Do you really want to hear?’

“Murli stop beating around the bushes,’ Advay hissed, “What did I do to her? Please tell me I didn’t hurt her.’

“You broke down in her arms,’ Murli choked, “You begged her to marry you, wept your heart out.’

“No, I didn’t.’

“You slept in her arms, called out to your Maa, while Bhabhi rocked you to sleep.’

Advay let out a loud sigh and sat with his head in his hand. What had he done? How could he have lost control…to her?

“What have I done?’ He raked his fingers through his hair, “What did she say?’

“She wept…wouldn’t let go of you. I had to beg her to hand you over.’ Murli blinked at him, “She loves you Bhaiyya…. and you love her. Stop fighting yourself. Stop this madness. Just tell her who you are, marry her. Have a happy life. Why are you complicating your life?’

“I begged her to marry me, did you say.’

Murli let out a sigh, Advay had only chosen to hear what he had wanted to hear.

“Hmm.’

“If she doesn’t say yes now Murli,’ Advay resolved to himself. Murli shuddered at the darkness that took over him, “You will see how I will make her beg me to marry her.’

“Bhaiyya, stop this madness… you want to marry her. Why complicate matters?’

“That’s because she is playing hard to get,’ Advay felt rage course through his body, why was he having to fight for what already belonged to him, “Now I will play hard to get. Now she will beg me…and I will show her who Advay Singh Raizada truly is.’

“What do you plan on doing Bhaiyya?’ Murli shuddered at the heartless tone of Advay’s voice, “please don’t do something you will regret later.’

“Let’s see what she has to say.’ Advay said, “if she says yes, and is willing to talk to her mother, I promise you Murli, I promise I will marry her and treat her right. I will tell her who I am. I just want her to defy Indrani and marry a Raizada, for once I want her to stand up to her mother, stand up to this fucking society that ruined my family.’

“What is the logic in all this?’

“A Mahant’s eldest daughter marrying into a different community is almost a blasphemy, Murli,’ A wicked smirk kissed Advay’s lips, “people will shred Indrani to bits, when they learn that her daughter is marrying out of the community. This is a conservative backward part of the country. This is not England. A lot of drama has already unfolded, Indrani can’t risk losing her face.’

“What if she hurts Bhabhi?’

“And you think I will let her,’ Advay narrowed his gaze at Murli, “I will mince her to a pulp, before she lays a finger on my beautiful girl.’

“Why don’t you ask Indrani for Chandini?’

“I won’t.’

“Why not? A man always proposes I thought.’

“And I have proposed to Chandini,’ he snapped, “and what better, her father Mahant Vashisht has handed her over to me…you saw it happen. She is mine.’

“But,’ Murli ran his fingers through his hair in despair, “if your parents were alive, wouldn’t they have made an official proposal?’

“But my parents are not alive…thanks to Indrani Vashisht.’

“Bhaiyya I don’t understand you,’ Murli held his head in his hand, “You are the most complicated man I have ever met in my life…poora noodle ho aap. Just keep stretching and going around in circles.’

Advay glared at him under his hooded gaze.

“I will not ask Indrani for anything.’ He hissed with gritted teeth, “Especially not something that already belongs to me. I am not going to plead with her. I am not at her mercy …. if anything, she is at my mercy … do I make myself clear.’

Advay got up, buttoned his waistcoat and brushed his messed-up hair.

“Chandini is mine, has always been,’ He said, brushing the lint off his shoulder, “if my parents were alive, Indrani would have crawled before them on her fours and begged them to accept Chandini as our daughter-in-law. In fact, it was Indrani who had begged my parents to accept Chandini’s hand in marriage.’

He turned around wearing his wicked smirk again.

“She begged for me, and you expect me to get down on my knee and beg for what was given to her in charity.’

“Bhaiyya…’

“My parents were kind enough to accept a pauper’s daughter for me…. the next Mahant in line.’ He said, broadening his shoulders with immense pride, “Do you even realise what a Mahant is, we are like a royal family? People worship us…everywhere we go we are revered. No one would have the courage to sit, before my Baba took his high seat. Such was his magnificence, and Indrani Vashisht tarnished all that…. and look at Yash Narayan now, he cannot even stand on his own two feet.’

“But what is bha…’

“I should have been all that, a prince next in line to the throne, this city should have worshipped my family …me,’ He continued, ignoring Murli’s pleas, “I love Chandini, that is my weakness, but I am in no way going to bow before anyone. A king never bows, he doesn’t know how to. He only gives …never receives…because every fucking thing belongs to him.’

Murli watched him without batting an eyelid. He had never seen his brother like this, like a king. He behaved like one, sounded like one.

“This haveli belongs to me, that temple belongs to me,’ Advay hissed pointing towards the temple, “that fucking treasure belongs to me, has belonged to the Kashyaps for eons of years.…and Chandini… she was always mine…… I am here to snatch …what is mine. Claim back everything that belonged to me …not fucking get on my knee and beg,’ he glared at Murli, “do I make myself clear?’

“But why did you propose to Bhabhi?’

“Because I love her,’ He snapped, frustrated with Murli’s stupid questions, “she is my wife… has been my wife in every life…. I will kneel before her, bow before her…. beg before her. Because that is the right she has on me. She owns me … like I own her. And now it is time to make her beg for me…that is if she doesn’t agree to defy her mother.’

“She is not your wife…not until you are married.’

“Murli you are seriously asking for it today, aren’t you?’ Advay hissed, “She was a five when she started fasting for me for Karwa chauth… I am sure she still does. She is my wife. Hence why her allegiance must be to me not to Indrani. I am her husband… have always been, this marriage is only a formality, our horoscopes line to the que, is that just a coincidence you think. We are made for each other.’

Murli watched him with intent.

“She barely knows me, she is a Mahants daughter,’ He let out a dry chuckle, “do you think she will let any man speak to her like the way I do. Have you ever seen her let PP touch her? But with me…with me she is comfortable…because in her heart she feels she is my wife…it is a soul connection.’

Murli nodded, still not convinced with his argument.

“She wouldn’t let me go last night did you say?’

Murli nodded, “I had to plead with her to let me carry you to your bedroom. She was unwilling to let go of you, sat for hours sobbing, rocking herself, after I helped you to bed.’

“And you still think she is not my wife. What is this connection? We have been lovers in every life. We are soul mates. She is mine and that’s final.’ He sighed, “What defies my logic is why is she playing so hard to get? What magic has Indrani weaved that Indrani has gained an advantage over Dev?’

“But she doesn’t know you are Dev.’

“A soul connection is a soul connection.’ He declared, glaring at Murli with his furious eyes, “She feels connected to me, I need her to choose me, for who I am today …not because I am the next Mahant in line.’

Murli shook his head, it was impossible to talk sense to Advay once he had made his mind up. Why couldn’t he just tell Chandini who he was and have her make her decision, why couldn’t he just claim his right as Dev.

“Why can’t you say who you are and claim your right. End of story?’ Murli said, wanting to bang his head on the wall behind him.

“Who wouldn’t want to marry the next Mahant?’ He glared at Murli’s stupidity, “If Chandini feels something for me, she must marry me for what she feels for me, not because I am Dev. It’s quite possible that she too is greedy like her mother, who only wants me for the Mahant I am, and Indrani…Indrani will be more than happy to give her daughter to me, the opportunist that she is,’ Advay let out a heavy sigh, “Nahi Murli, she has to choose me, she has to defy her mother…. for me. She will have to accept to marry a nomad, a man with no name or background for who he is…because I am who I am thanks to her…. she turned a Mahant into an Aghori, now it’s time she accepts the nomad, the outcast that I am.’

“Bhiayya…par.’

“You know what is worse,’ He chuckled, “Chandini knows…she knows her mother is manipulating her…. yet she won’t defy her mother… nahi Murli she has to defy Indrani…. she has to …I am not willing to bow down this time. This time she will choose me over her mother….I am not Dev, I am Advay and Advay won’t accept to act as second fiddle.’

“Bhaiyya, she loves you.’

“Then she needs to prove it. She needs to show that I matter, that she needs me. Or I will push her to the point that she does.’

“What are you planning on doing?’

Advay gazed at his reflection in the mirror, he would manipulate her, though how he didn’t know how. Murli watched his brother’s conflict in the reflection before him. Advay loved Chandini, but this was war. He was at war with the woman he loved. There would be pain whether he won or lost. Murli sighed, he was going to have watch his brother burn in the fire of his anger, whether he liked it or not.

Chandini stirred the dal, lost in her thought. She had barely seen Advay all day, he had been working round the clock. But he did have a lot on his plate, she reminded herself. He had six months to open the doors. She shuddered, what if he was unsuccessful. She looked up to the heavens, with a silent prayer that he finds success, that he leaves the city unharmed. Her heart sank, Advay was going to leave the city in six months. She let out a rueful chuckle, she would be leaving for Delhi, by the end of next week, with PP. Tears welled her eyes, though she wasn’t sure why, was it because Advay would be leaving her or was it because she would be leaving Advay. His pleas had haunted her all night. He had sobbed in her arms, begged her to choose him, what was she meant to do? Her mother would never accept, not that she knew how to break this news to her mother. Her mother would laugh at her foolishness for having fallen in love with someone she knew for less than a week, someone who was nameless, a nomad. “Jiji…Maa is calling you,’

“Haan, Shikha…’ She yelled back, jolting out of her trance, “coming.’

Chandini strode out of the kitchen, only to freeze to the spot. PP and his mother had arrived unannounced. What was going on? She wondered, as she wore her pallu on her head, and sauntered in the lounge.

“Chandini,’ Indrani smiled, “Come sit.’

Chandini touched PP’s mother’s feet. She sat next to her mother, as far away from PP as she possibly could.

“Haan toh Indranji,’ PP’s mother said, “we have found another astrologer and he has given us a mahurat for the Roka for tomorrow.’

Advay stood at the entrance, as he heard PP’s mother. Rage coursed through his veins. He had just stepped into the Haveli, hoping to ask Chandini for a definite answer to his demands. But looked like she had made her choice. She had not said a word and had sat next to her mother like a dumb doll with her head held low. She was clearly testing his patience. It was time he taught her a lesson.

“Hello everyone,’ He strode in. Chandini trembled at the cold in his voice. He was angry she knew it even before she lifted her gaze to him. “How is everyone today?’

He sat opposite Chandini, holding her trembling gaze in his furious eyes.

“Hello bro,’ PP grinned, “It’s our Roka tomorrow.’

“Oh, is it?’ Advay got up to his feet, and shook hands with PP, “Congratulations.’

“Thanks bro.’

“Advay,’ PP’s mother said, “We are not inviting any of guests, it’s only a family affair, but we would like to invite you to the Roka, from the groom’s side.’

Advay pressed his lips, forcing a smile. He was not from the groom’s side, he was the groom.

“Thanks, I would love to attend,’ He gave her a warm smile, “to be honest I have never attended an Indian wedding.’

“Have you not?’ Indrani raised her brow in surprise, “You must attend this wedding. Indian weddings are beautiful, extremely colourful and we have so many rituals…. I am sure you will enjoy it.’

“Yeah am sure I will enjoy all the rituals.’ Advay smirked at a trembling Chandini. “Chandini, are you excited?’

She shivered at the taunt in his voice. She kept her eyes trained to her fidgeting hands, unable to lift her gaze to his. He was going to hurt her, she knew for a fact. But what was she meant to do?

“Of course, she is excited,’ Indrani stroked Chandini’s hair, “It’s every girl’s dream to be a bride.’

“True,’ PP’s mother said with a warm smile, “So Indraniji, its only three people from our side. How are you going organise the event?’

“Oh, I am sure Shikha and Meghu can sort the decorations,’ Indrani said casually, “and Chandini will cook dinner, it’s just family.’

Advay glared at the two women. His Chandini was the bride…his bride, were they seriously going to get his bride to cook. He shifted his gaze to the trembling girl who was struggling to keep her knee away from a crouching PP. He gritted his teeth, he was going to punch this creepy PP one of these days, he was certain of that.

“Chandini I hope you don’t mess the dinner like you did the last time we were here.’ PP’s mother chuckled. Advay tilted his head, glaring murderously at PP’s mother. This woman had some nerve. He was going to have to stop this madness… it was Chandini and HIS Roka after all. She was not cooking on their Roka, she was his bride and he would treat her like one.

“I am sorry,’ He couldn’t stop himself from interrupting, “But isn’t Chandini the bride, shouldn’t the bride be treated like a bride.’

“She will be a bride in the evening,’ Indrani smiled, “I am sure she can finish her cooking by late afternoon.’

Shikha and Meghu exchanged furtive glances with each other and looked hopefully towards a fuming Advay.

“Chandini won’t be cooking, and that’s final.’ Indrani, PP and his mother glanced at Advay, shocked at the authority in his voice. Advay took a deep breath, and forced a smile on his face.

“What I mean is, my man Murli can sort the food tomorrow.’ He smiled at PP, “Let’s say it’s a Roka present from me to you, bro,’ He then shifted his gaze to glare at PP’s mother, “Trust me, Murli is an extra-ordinary cook. You will see what I meant the other day when we were talking about him.’

PP’s mother shifted uncomfortably, at the bone chilling glare Advay gave her.

“Oh, that will be great,’ PP cackled, “Indraniji, Dekha… told you, Advay is my bro. Thanks bro, that’s very kind of you.’

“That’s great Advay,’ Indrani said, “Could we have Murli join us, so PP’s mother can choose the menu?’

“Sure… Murli,’ He yelled.

“Haan Bhaiyya.’

“Murli could you sort the catering for tomorrow.’

“Ji Bhaiyya.’

“Haan Murli,’ PP’s mother said in a clipped tone of voice, “I will give a list to Indraniji, but I want the food up to standards and I don’t want you fooling ar…’

“Excuse me.’ Advay interrupted PP’s mother, “Mrs Prajapati, Murli is a top chef in London. He is not some house cook, and above all he is my brother…. could you speak to him with respect please?’

“Bhaiyya,’ Murli shook his head, “Its okay,’ He looked at a fuming PP’s mother and smiled, “Teek hai Prajapatiji, I don’t mind. Talk to me how you wish. I am at your service.’

Chandini gazed at Murli with tears welling in her eyes. He had been dragged into the storm for no reason.

“It’s okay Maa,’ She whispered, “I will prepare the dinner. It’s just for the family.’

“Arey Bhabhi, don’t be silly.’ Murli said, “Please try my food tomorrow, you are a bride, its time you behave like a bride. I know my food isn’t as good as yours, but trust me it’s not bad either.’

“You think Chandini is a good cook?’ PP asked.

“Arey PP Bhaiyya, that kofta that Bhabhi made was extraordinary, I have asked her for the recipe for my restaurant.’

“Oh, have you.’ PP looked at Chandini with pride, “She is an amazing cook, isn’t she?’

Advay sat tapping his fingers against his knee. So, she was an amazing cook now. He just wanted this creep to leave as soon as.

“Okay so its decided then,’ Advay snapped, “Murli you are handling the food…. get the list from Mrs Vashisht.’

“Bhaiyya I have a suggestion,’ He looked at Indrani and PP’s mother, “that is if the elders don’t have a problem. It’s just a request that’s all.’

“What is it?’ Indrani asked.

“Since it is Chandini Bhabhi’s Roka, I think she should choose the menu.’ He smiled at Chandini, as she held his gaze in awe.

“I think that’s a good idea.’ Advay nodded at Murli for his quick thinking, “What do you say PP?’

“Hmm,’ PP glanced at his mother, but he had to get into Advay’s good books, “Whatever you say bro.’

“Cool,’ Advay smirked, “Chandini will choose the menu … that’s decided then.’

“Murli,’ PP’s mother said, “Why are you calling Chandini Bhabhi?’

“Arey madamji,’ He chuckled looking at Advay, “PP is Bhaiyya’s bro, toh isi liye.’

“Very good then,’ Indrani got up to her feet, “Murli you will sort the dinner, Meghu Shikha sort the decorations, and I will find a pandit for the event. Teek hai na prajapatiji.’

“Yes, Indraniji,’ PP and his mother stood up, joining their hands, taking their leave. Chandini touched PP’s mother’s feet for one last time. She let out a sigh once they had left, and turned around to find the lounge empty. Advay too had left, he had sounded annoyed. She knew he was angry beyond reason, though he had managed to keep his anger under wraps. What was she meant to do? How was she meant to explain her situation to him? She dragged herself to the kitchen to finish dinner.

Chandini sat in bedroom, folding her sarees, thinking about the events of the evening. So, her Roka was finally here. She was finally getting married to PP. She frowned, why had Advay been so helpful? Why had he offered Murli’s assistance, instead of throwing at fit? What was he playing at? Why was he acting out of character?

She jumped at the soft knock on her door.

“Sorry to disturb Bhabhi,’ Murli said, as soon as she opened the door, “I need to sort the menu for tomorrow. May I come in?’

Chandini nodded, letting Murli in. She went back to folding the sarees that lay strewn all over her bed. Murli took a seat on a foot stool at her feet.

“Why are you sitting there?’ She said, “Get yourself a chair.’

“No, it’s fine.’ He smiled, “You are my Bhabhi, it feels good to sit at your feet. I always sit at Bhaiyya feet, so…’

“I am not your Bhaiyya’s wife,’ Tears welled in her eyes, “I am getting engaged to PPji tomorrow.’

“Why are you doing this to yourself?’ Murli sighed, “Why are you doing to this my Bhaiyya?’

“I don’t have a choice, Murli… I have to, for my mother…for my sisters.’

“Bhabhi, just trust me, just talk to your mother once, just once tell her that you want to marry Advay Bhaiyya.’

“No Murli I can’t,’ Chandini smiled ruefully, “besides, Maa will never accept.’

“Bhabhi just to talk to her once,’ Murli tried convincing her, “just defy her once…trust me Bhaiyya will take on the town for you. Just for once, take my advice and talk to your mother.’

Chandini trembled, she couldn’t annoy her mother. Her mother had cared for her, nursed for her since she was a child, and she also had to think about her father’s honour, about her sisters’ future. This was not just about her. A lot of lives were connected to her decision.

“I wish I was free, Murli,’ Chandini chuckled, “Free like the birds, I would have flown out with your Bhaiyya, flown into his arms. But I am not a bird… if anything I am caged in the norms of this society. I can’t follow my heart even if I want to. I cannot marry your Bhaiyya, and that is the harsh reality.’

Murli let out a heavy sigh. How was he meant to explain to her that, Advay was going to unleash his wrath upon her, if she didn’t comply with his demands. But warning her would be a betrayal to his brother. He took another deep breath, for now, he was going to have to go with the flow.

“Teek hai Bhabhi,’ He sighed, “Just tell me what I need to make for tomorrow.’

“I don’t know Murli,’ She smiled, “I have never cooked for myself…I have only cooked whatever Maa’s has asked me to make.’

“You must have a favourite for sure.’

“Just make whatever you feel like Murli,’ Tears welled her eyes, she was getting engaged to PP, “I’ll have whatever you make.’

“Teek hai Bhabhi.’ Murli sighed getting up to his feet. She didn’t look like a bride, didn’t behave like one. A deep sense of sorrow reflected from her eyes. This marriage was a namesake. Her heart belonged to Advay, he could tell.

“Murli…listen.’

“Hmm.’

“What does your Bhaiyya like?’

“He’ll eat anything.’

She smiled, Advay was a strange man. She was unable to place her finger on who or what he truly was. Just when she thought she knew him, he behaved in a way that was totally out of character. But the way he had broken down in her arms, the previous night had left her shaken and speechless.

“Murli.’

“Ji Bhabhi.’

“Can I ask you a question?’

“Ji.’

“What happened to your Bhaiyya’s Maa? Why was he so much in pain last night?’

“His Maa passed away a long time ago,’ Tears welled in Murli’s eyes, how was he meant to tell her, “That’s all I can tell you.’

“It doesn’t look like he has healed.’

“I don’t think he ever will, his wounds run deep.’ Murli said, struggling to fight his tears, “he was very close to her.’

Chandini nodded, she too had lost her mother. But she had no memory of her. It must be difficult for Advay to have known and loved his mother and then to have lost her, must be excruciatingly painful.

“Bhabhi, may I ask you a question?’

“Hmm.’

“Why weren’t you willing to let go of him last night?’

“I don’t know Murli,’ She choked on her tears, as the memory of Advay breaking down in her arms flashed before her eyes. He had sounded so broken, so vulnerable, “I just wanted to take his grief away, wanted to make him feel better. I felt at peace, to have him in my arms. Just wanted him to rest in my arms …forever.’

“Stop this Roka, Bhabhi.’ Murli joined his hands in prayer, pleading with her, “Stop with this madness…both of you.’

“Does you Bhaiyya like bhindi?’ She asked, ignoring his plea, as she went back to folding her sarees.

Murli watched her helplessly. She was just like Advay, adamant. She was not going to listen.

“Hmm… he does.’

“Then could you make Bhindi, please.’

“Okay.’

“I will give you the recipe …its Dev’s mother’s recipe. It’s a really good one.’

Murli smiled, of course it was Dev’s mother’s recipe. Little did she realise that she was asking him to prepare it for Dev.

“Just prepare everything your Bhaiyya likes,’ She finally let out a heavy sigh, she had lost the will to live, Dev had not come back for her and Advay was not willing to let go of her, “Just assume it is your Bhaiyya’s Roka. What would you have cooked had it been his Roka? Just think it’s his engagement and prepare everything his likes.’

A soft chuckle escaped Murli’s lips, it was his Bhaiyya’s Roka with his Chandini. She was in for the biggest surprise of her life.

“Okay Bhabhi, I’ll cook everything he likes,’ Murli got up to his feet, “just give me the Bhindi recipe please.’

She nodded, a warm smile kissing the corners of her lips. So, what if she was getting engaged to PP, until then she could pretend it was her Roka with Advay. She rested her head on the pillow, finally letting tears roll down her delicate face.

Advay sat on the terrace, watching the moon hide behind the clouds. The moon of his life too had chosen to stay shrouded in darkness today. The river looked black, but the gushing was impossible to miss from where he sat lazing on his easy chair. Murli was busy clearing the plates. Advay had looked lost all the while. Murli sighed, this self-inflicted pain wasn’t making any sense to him.

“Bhaiyya lets listen to radio.’ He said, trying to cheer him up.

Advay chuckled… he knew his Murli was trying to make him feel better. But today his heart was engulfed in darkness…. his moonlight…his Chandini had chosen another man.

“Is there any particular station you want to listen to?’ Murli pulled out his phone, sitting at his feet.

“Just anything Murli…just anything,’ Advay sighed, sipping on his whisky, “anything that will make the moon appear from behind the clouds and engulf me in its soothing rays… just want my Chandini…Murli. Just want her in my arms.’

Murli let out a sigh, shuffling through the station, “tera pyaar yaar…hookah bar…’ started blaring out of his phone. Murli chuckled…

“What the fuck was that?’ Advay glared in disgust… “Pyaar is Hookah bar… what is the world coming to?’

Murli chuckled, “I know Bhaiyya, songs these days….wait let me try a different station.’

“Music bajega loud…Radha nachegee.’

Advay glared murderously at a chuckling Murli.

“What kind of fuck twisted people write songs like these?’ He said. “and here I thought that I was a fuck twisted man.’

“Pata nahi Bhaiyya… pata nahi kya ho gaya Music industry ko.’

“And a classic like sexual healing by Marvin Gaye will be considered blasphemy in these parts of the world….bloody hypocrites.’

“Have you heard that one Bhaiyya, locked out of heaven by Bruno Mars.’

“Yeah I have…I can play that on my guitar.’

“Oh yeah…you can …sorry I forget,’ Murli said shuffling through the stations.

“I have been locked out of heaven for too long… Murli,’ Advay sighed, “for too long…My heaven sleeps on the other side of my bedroom…. I am going to have to break the gates soon… if I am not allowed in.’

“Bhaiyya,’ Murli chuckled, blushing to himself, “do you even realise what you are saying?’

“Seriously Murli…I am losing my sanity here,’ Advay raked his hair in despair, “can’t take this torture anymore. Need her in my arms. She should have been in my bed, keeping me warm every night…. Damm you Indrani Vashisht.’

“This one.’ Murli stopped at a station.

“Hmm…sounds good …what is the song… it’s just music.’

“Wait Bhaiyya it will start.’

“Tu Heer meri, tu jism mera
Main Ranjha hoon – libaas tera

Ho yun qareeb tu
Chhu loon main teri rooh
Bin tere main hoon be-nishaan

Samander main, kinara tu
Jo bikhru main, sahara tu”

“It’s a nice song, Murli.’ He said, “suits my bleeding heart… Tu Jism Mera… Hoon libaas tera… Samandar main… kinara tu…Jo Bhikru main….sahara too…. Perfect.’

“It’s a really nice song Bhaiyya.’ Murli sighed, “heart wrenching.’

Advay sipped on his whisky, tears finally trickling from the corners of his eyes.

“She didn’t choose me, Murli,’ He choked. “I mean nothing to her.’

“Bhaiyya.’

“Her Dev is a nobody to her…. just a stranger.’

“Bhaiyya, she doesn’t know.’

“She would have still not chosen me,’ He muffled between his sobs, “She wants her Dev to claim his right…but won’t fight for her Dev….won’t choose him…won’t stand up to Indrani.’

“Why don’t you claim your right?’

“Why should I… why should I, when she doesn’t want me.’

“Bhaiyya,’ Murli struggled to explain, “she is bound by the shackles of society.’

“Where was this fucking society when the mob broke out on the Maha Aarti day?’ Advay hissed, fire coursing through his veins at the memory of the state he had found Chandini in, “Where were they when my Maa Baba were murdered?’

“Bhaiyya …tell her who you are,’ Murli said, “Trust me, she will choose you.’

“She won’t……she won’t,’ He let out a rueful chuckle, “she will expect me to speak to her mother and convince her mother, to hand her over to me…and I am never going to do that.’

“What do you plan on doing next?’

“I have no plan…that is the plan,’ He sighed, “But can’t let this Roka happen…Chandini is going to pay…a heavy price.’

“How?’

“The plan is to ruin her,’ He chuckled, “But the problem is …can’t fucking watch her cry.’

“Are you sure you love her…Bhaiyya?’ Murli asked resting his head against Advay’s feet, unable to believe that love could be cruel.

“More than you can fathom,’ He said, rubbing his hand against his heart, “She is the reason I have lived for all these years …… or I would have died …. should have died with my Maa. I allowed myself to stay alive, so that I could come back and ruin her…… But now I am here,’ He chuckled again, “can’t watch her hurt.’

“Now?’

“I have to ruin her Murli… have to ruin her… I got swayed… got distracted… but Maa has corrected the situation…. I am back on track now.’

“I need to get stronger… need to bear her tears on my soul,’ He narrowed his eyes at Murli, “I have to do it Murli …… I must do it for Maa…… or Maa will never find peace…… I will never find peace.’

Chandini finally sauntered into her room. She felt empty within, had barely eaten anything. It was her Roka tomorrow, she just wanted to collapse and never wake up. She mindlessly began changing in her the soft cotton saree she wore to bed every night. She opened the crack of her window, Advay was sat in his usual position, murmuring to Murli who was resting his head against his feet. They had an incredible relationship. Murli seemed more like his devotee than his brother. She smiled…at least he had Murli.

“Murli play that song again,’ Advay said, “That was a truly heart wrenching song.’

‘Hmm…let me find it …he said,’ scanning his phone, “Let me download it…that ways you can hear it on repeat.’

Chandini lay on her bed, as the music played. She frowned, the lyrics piquing her interest. Was he taunting her? She wondered. Maybe he was. How was she meant to explain to him that she couldn’t choose him even if she wanted to? Her mother would never agree. Their marriage was impossible, it was a mirage…albeit a beautiful one. Tears welled her eyes, “Jo bhikru main…sahara tu,’ she smiled… she had held him as he had broken down in her arms. “Aa yun kareeb tu… choo loon main teri rooh.’ How she desperately wanted to touch his soul, to heal it… to belong to it. She belonged to Advay, there was no shadow of doubt there, she had felt it in her core, the moment she had held him in her arms. He had slept in her arms, she had rocked him to sleep. They belonged to each other, why was god testing them? Where had she wronged her god that he chose to punish her like this? Tears fell from the corners of her eyes, as she final drifted in oblivion to the melody of the song filling her room through the crack in her window.

“Tu Heer meri, tu jism mera ….Main Ranjha hoon – libaas tera,’ Advay let out a soft chuckle, she truly was his heer and he was her Ranjha… star crossed lovers, eternal lovers… who were never fated to meet. But this time he was here to write his destiny…. His Chandini belonged to him and he would snatch his right by force…if he had to. He had enough of her excuses, he was going to manipulate her, pressurise her…force her if he had to, but he was going to make her say yes to him. She was going to have to choose him, whether she liked it or not.

Murli sighed as the song kept playing. “Samander main, kinara tu
Jo bikhru main, sahara tu”. The waves were always relentless on the shore… his brother too was relentless like the waves of a stormy sea. He would unleash his wrath upon her and she would shatter, that was certain. But like a wave he too would shatter over the shore. They would shatter each other, only to merge with each other. A strange love affair, of a wave with its shore…of a shore with its wave. The shore took wave upon wave, and forever stood with open arms wanting to belong to its sea. The waves broke relentlessly against the shore, with relentless passion… a need to engulf the shore. A passionate love affair, where the lovers only knew rough relentless passion, but nevertheless it was a love story… a painful one, yet a beautiful one. Was Chandini strong enough to bear the intense passion his brother planned on unleashing upon her, he wasn’t sure for once? She had no idea a storm was headed her away. She would shatter and he would shatter with her. Murli sighed, it was the law of nature… a wave that rose had to fall at the shore…the shore had to take its battering, whether it liked it or not…Maybe it was time Chandini too braced herself what was heading her way…a tornado a tsunami a tempest…….Advay Singh Raizada.

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ISS Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon, IPKKNDFF, ARSHI FF — Predator Turns prey

A heartwarming love story of Childhood sweethearts, of heartbreaks, of trust broken, of painful beginning, and sweet endings.

Chapter 20 Author’s note

I love love love this chapter too. Mainly the song in the end which is so endearing.

These two suffer so beautifully, that we cannot help enjoy their sufferance, and come back to suffer more. From the moment they’ve met, they’ve complicated matters and this is just the beginning of a saga. HA!

Love Chitra

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Chapter 21

Index

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

chapter 11 – Entrapment

Chapter 12 – Entrapment

Chapter 13 – Entrapment

Chapter 14 – Entrapment

Chapter 15 – Entrapment

chapter 16 – Entrapment

Chapter 17 – Entrapment

Chapter 18 – Entrapment

Chapter 19 – Entrapment

Chapter 20 – Entrapment

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Chapter 20 – Entrapment

Chapter 15 – A New Dawn

Chapter 25 – And this is how we Make up

Chapter 24 – Behind the Veil

Chapter 23 – Who is Playing? and With Whom?

Chapter 19 – Entrapment

Stories

Predator Turns prey

Entrapment Drowning into Darkness

Entrapment – A New Dawn

Set me Ablaze

Chapter 20

Author’s note

Chapter 21

Index

Follow us

Have you read

Stories

Predator Turns prey

Entrapment Drowning into Darkness

Entrapment – A New Dawn

Set me Ablaze

Chapter 20

Author’s note

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