The following week was a blur in Khushi’s life. She and Payal had gone down to Raizada Mansion on Sunday, requesting them to cancel the contract as she and her sister had finally decided to move back to Lucknow. All through her time at his mansion, she’d hoped she wouldn’t bump into him, and thankfully they hadn’t come face-to-face.

“Has your fiancé returned?” Nani had asked Payal. “Its only fair you’ve decided to marry him,” she had added. “I know you reacted in the moment, but in life women must learn patience, and level-headedness. Impulsive decisions are never for women. We must weigh out options before we make any decision. Family, parents, siblings, society, everyone matters. One cannot just run after the whims of the heart.”

Sitting beside her suitcase, as Khushi folded her clothes, her tears fell. She hadn’t run after the whims of her heart. But what was she meant to do with this shattered heart now. Family, parents, siblings, society, everyone seemed to be happy. Everyone except her. And lifting her gaze to Payal, she knew her sister too wasn’t happy with what the world expected from her. But marrying Dhananjay was the most practical decision. And after their brief discussion with Nani, one thing had become clear— she would never had accepted a girl like Payal as her Bahu. Not that Akash had made his intentions clear. But even if he had, his family would have never agreed. And perhaps returning to Dhananjay was the only dignified resolution to their lives. 

Monday had been all about handing her notice to Akash, and the lady in HR. It had been a smooth discussion. Since she was only on probation, it meant a week’s notice had been enough. All through the week she’d worked alongside Lee, avoiding Alex too. But Friday evening as she’d bid goodbye to everyone, she’d wept in his arms. Although he hadn’t said anything, he had given her his pearl necklace as a keepsake. She had eventually mustered her courage to step into Arnav’s office to say her final goodbye. But it had been empty. And she had spent sitting opposite his desk for a long long time, pretending he was there, gazing at her from across the room. 

As she wiped her tears, the memory of just the previous week flashed before, of that day when Ayush had turned up out of the blue. Until he’d happened in their lives everything had been smooth sailing. Perhaps Arnav having a child had influenced her decision, she wasn’t sure. Or perhaps the thought of having to fight Shreya for his attention, had ruined it all for her. She needed a right to her man. And if he wasn’t willing to give her that right, then there was no future.

Suddenly a furious knock at the door snapped her and her sister out of their thoughts. When the knocking got louder, she got up to her feet, and ran for the door. Her Buaji beat her to the door. And with a cup of tea in his hand, Manohar strode out of the kitchen.

But the moment the door opened, Arnav stood outside, wearing murder in his eyes. Khushi froze, yet her heart leapt, and she welled to finally have him here. 

“Arnav Babua.” Buaji gapsed. 

But Arnav pushed the door open, and flanking him on either side were two police officers. As Buaji gasped, Manohar dropped the cup in his hand, and made a run. But Arnav leapt into the house. Before Khushi could grasp what was happening, he had punched Manohar right across his cheek. The women shrieked, but Arnav kept punching, and punching till Manohar’s face was so bloodied, he’d passed out.

“Arrest the bastard.” Wiping the back of his hand to the shirt of man lying unconscious, Arnav got up to his feet.

“Ar…” Buaji didn’t know what to say, but Nani and a sobbing Anjali stood at the door.

As everyone stood frozen, and the police officers grabbed Manohar by his collar, and dragged him out, Arnav joined his hand together in front of buaji. “We have proof he’s murdered his wife and daughter.”

Khushi gasped, so did Buaji and Payal.

“He cheated upon us,” Nani choked. “He lied, and married my child…….and now.” 

“Chotey, I forgive him,” Anjali choked.

“He’s a murderer.” Arnav glared at his sister. Khushi’s thoughts raced to Aryaman and she worried if he too would meet with a similar fate at this monster’s hands. 

 “He’s my husband,” she cried. 

“Chotey, we can finish this matter. Maybe that other woman trapped him and married. And what is the proof he murdered?”

“I have proof.”

“You have made up the proof, chotey.” Anjali yelled. “You hate him for no reason, and hence why….”

“He’s been living here in disguise, did you know?”

“I did,” she choked.

“Di.” Arnav took a step back, and Khushi felt sorry for him.

“This is my life, my choice.” She fought. “And I am pregnant with his child.”

“The child is yours, Di. But I will not let you remain married to a murderer, do I make myself clear?” he glowered.

“If she’s pregnant, how can you get her divorced?” Buaji gasped, speaking between them absentmindedly.

“This is what I’m trying to explain to him,” stroking Anjali’s hair, Nani choked too. “That the world will hold my child in contempt. Divorced women have no respect in society.”

“Stop talking like backward people.”

“This is not being backward, Arnav Babuji. This is our culture, our tradition. We worship our husbands. Aap kya jano,” Buaji argued.

“Even if he’s a murderer?” He shot his angry eyes to Buaji.

“Haan. Even if he’s a criminal, a womaniser, an abuser, we must,” she explained. “And if Anjali bitiya gets divorced, she’ll never get married again.”

“Its fine. She can reamin single.”

“Single women have no respect in this world.” She fought back. “A widow maybe, someone like me. But pati se chodi hui aurat.”

“He hasn’t left her. She’s is leaving him,” Arnav argued.

“Haye Re nandkishore, where is this world going to under name of modernism. Women leaving their men…” Buaji shook her head in despair. “This is what happens when you give too much education and freedom to girls.”

“I agree.” Nani nodded. “Hamara zamana alag tha. It was about respect, and about being practical. These days kids have their head in the clouds. They want to follow the whims of the heart.”

“I am not leaving my husband.” Anjali glowered.

“Don’t you have self-respect,” Arnav asked.

“This is her marriage we are talking about.” Nani glowered. “Its not a joke, to marry, to break up.”

“I didn’t even want her married to that bastard.”

“Get practical Arnav Babua. Who will marry her? And what about the child?”

“Exactly.” Nani too glowered at him. “Speak to you lawyer, get him to sort this matter. Kuch paise deke mamla rafa dafa keejiye…and bring Damadji home, and unite my child with him.”

“My sister will not be married to that bastard. And this is my final decision.” Glowering at Nani, Arnav brushed past her and strode out of the house. But he stopped for a beat at the entrance, making Khushi’s heart race. But when he didn’t turn back, and instead sprinted down the stairs, her heart shattered all over again. 

And before she knew it, Anjali collapsed to the floor.

Khushi caught her, while Payal ran to get her a glass of water.

“How can he ruin her life like his?” Nani too collapsed on the sofa and wept. “This is her marriage we are talking about here.”

Although Khushi shuddered at the idea of being married to a murderer, but Nani was right. This was marriage. And one couldn’t toss marriage out like the way Arnav intended to for his sister. Stroking Anjali hair, she sighed. Little had they known Manohar was Anjali’s husband, and  a criminal too. But Aranv was the bigger criminal here. A man who had no concern for his sister’s feeling couldn’t have any care for anyone’s feelings, she resolved.

“Chotey only does what he wants to.” Sipping on the tea Payal offered, Nani wiped her tears. “That boy has no respect for the concept of marriage. He thinks love is above everything.”

“Love is the ruin of everything.” Buaji mocked. “People end up losing respect when in love. But marriage is about respect. Marriage is when a man respects his woman, and gives her the place she deserves in society. Whatever may be Manohar bitwa offered marriage to Anjali and we must appreciate him for that.”

“Yes, one that Chotey will never offer to any woman,” Nani snapped. “And all men have flaws. Its the duty of the woman to change them, to reform them, to give them a purpose to transform. And I am sure Anjali bitiya will reform her husband. Especially now that she’s pregnant. It will put the burden of responsibility upon Damadji.”

As Buaji nodded, Nani continued. “Par ee baat Chotey ko kon samjhaye. He believes in live-in relationship.”

“Haye re Nandkishore.” Buaji gasped in horror. “Living with a man without marriage?”

“Haan….we have a very good girl in our circles, Preeti. He’d agreed to marry her. Now he’s putting the condition that they will live together for six months. And if things work then he shall marry her.”

“Hain. Things work out matbal?” Buaji widened her eyes. “What is this? A girl or a product that comes with return policy?”

Shaking her head in despair, Nani rolled her eyes, but Buaji continued gasping in horror “Aur nahi pasand ayi tho what, he will use her for six months and return her? Ee achcha hai.”

“Even the thought is mortifying for us.” Nani welled. “I don’t know kis janam ka badla le raha hai humse…..my daughter was such a pious woman who never brought us any shame. She chose to die for her unfaithful husband, but never returned to her maternal home…..that is the kind of upbringing we’ve given our children…..but this boy. He’s a disgrace.”

But amidst all this discussion, Khushi sat with her hand on her heart, shivering at the narrow escape she’d had from this man. Use and throw, that was his strategy clearly. Whoever got into a relationship after ensuing if it worked or not. Marriage happened first in her world. Getting to know later. And even if things didn’t work, it was the duty of the woman to make it work. If this was the kind of a relationship he was offering her, then it was matter of great insult to her. Whatever little doubt she’d had before, it was all over now. Taking her phone, she deleted his number, and looked up to the heavens. This was her Devi Maiyya decision for her. And she would live by it. 

Yet a part of her ached so painfully for him, she wanted to drop everything and run to him. Taking a deep breath, she got up to her feet, and finished the rest of her packing instead. 

__

Leaning his head against the pillar, Arnav gazed at Khushi, as she got into the train and found her seat beside the window. Her eyes looked troubled, he thought. But all she had to do was text him once. Just once, and he’d carry her out of the train. But if she didn’t want him, there wasn’t anything he would, or could do. 

As the train blew its loud horn, glancing at his phone, he waited to see if she’d call him, just to tell him a final good. But when she didn’t, and the train began pulling away, Arnav took a deep breath, and strode up to the train. He had never travelled in one. But he would today. Just so he could watch her for as long as he wished, one last time. 

Jumping on top of the running train, he leaned back against the door, and closed his eyes. His tears fell, but this was his life now, he knew. Longing for the girl he would never have. 

His thoughts raced to his sister and he simply couldn’t understand why she was hell-bent on worshipping a man who was a liar and a murderer. This was why he hated the word marriage. The norms the world imposed upon people under the name of marriage made him want to throw up. Were emotions of no value? Was a legal binding all that mattered? And what about legal binding like the ones his sister was trapped into now? Was Shyam a noble man for having married his sister? And was he an utter asshole for not believing in the sanctity of this so called institution of marriage, which pushed a lot people into a mental institution. He mother had once lost her mind and taken her life. And now his sister too was headed in a similar direction. And what annoyed him most was that the elderly women were the ones in favour of these ridiculous norms. Instead being the change, they ensured to keep it all alive under the name of tradition, culture, and respect.

And his stupid girl was now wanting to follow the same path, instead of following her heart. She wanted him, a voice kept niggling at him. But she had chosen to step away. Now she would have to take a step towards him. And until that time, he’d wait. Even if it meant waiting until eternity.

When the train stopped again, he found himself hopping out of the train again and gazing at her. Every moment he’d spent with her, flashed before him. And the first time she’d crashed into his arms came back to him.  If only she’d given them both a chance. If only she’d taken the plunge with him. If they’d have crashed, they’d have crashed together. But now he’d never know what it would mean to wake up beside her. He’d never know if she smiled in her sleep. He’d never know how sweet she’d sound when he’d kiss her. Or how she’d moan his name when he take her to the peaks of pleasure. He’d never know. Never.

And she’d never ever find out how deeply he loved her. 

As his tears fell, and pulling his phone he clicked a picture of her beautiful face. And when the train began pulling, he stood behind the pillar and waited for as long as he could, just gazing at her.

The journey ended even before it had begun, and once the train pulled into the platform, he watched her drag out her bags. And as she ran into the arms of the elderly man waiting outside the carriage, his tears trickled. It had been so long since he’d seen her smile like this. This was perhaps her life, he realised. This was where she belonged, his beautiful song bird. She’d never been his to take. And looking up to the heavens, he thought of his mother, missing her so dearly, and wanting her beside him to soothe his grief away. 

But he glanced at Khushi one last time, telling a final good bye. 

“Out beyond the ideas of right and wrong, there is a field,” he breathed, while tears continued to trickle. “I shall be forever waiting for you, Khushi. Come meet me there, if you dare.”

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Author’s note

Fine, so we are done with the Shyam track here. Hmm, well, Nani and Buaji do represent that section of women who think Marriage is ultimate. More than love. Chalo, all the best. Enjoy! 

Love Chitra

PS: Preeti won’t be happening here, as Arnav has made it clear he won’t get into any relationship without ensuring it works. SO, his way forward is, live in first, and then marriage. So that puts that argument to bed.  Khushi cannot accept that, and hence has made her decision., Fair play. I respect her decision. And hence am writing this plot.